Losing My Shadow

by Aan

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    High-bias cassette tape with four-panel inner sleeve

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credits

released June 13, 2019

Written by Bud Wilson

Bud Wilson - vocals, bass, guitar, synth, percussion
Cameron Spies - synth, programming, backing vocals, bass, guitar
Dana Valatka - percussion (1, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9)
Travis Leipzig - bass (4, 7, 9)

Produced by Cameron Spies & Bud Wilson

Mixed & Recorded by Cameron Spies
Mastered by Kelly Hibbert at Almachrome

Executive Producers: Bud Wilson & Kenny / Fresh Selects
Co-Executive Producer: Ben Hubbird for Party Damage

Design & Layout by Tawfiq Mardini
Cover Illustration by Reese Lawhon

Recorded January 2017 - April 2018 at Gold Brick Studio and Red Lantern Studio in Portland, Oregon

FSX-037 © 2019 Fresh Selects.

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Fresh Selects

An independent record label based in Portland, Oregon;
purveyors of Tight Songs and great albums from all over.

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Track Name: Cause & Effect
The dogged fears inside of you
Oh let them escape, I can’t do it without you, babe
All the stars are dark and I can feel your pain
Let your heart escape, I can’t do it without you, babe

Was it something that you had to say?
Fill my heart with pain, I can’t do it without you, babe
I’m running in place
Feel this whole thing is out of phase, feel my heart erase
I can’t do it without you, babe,

It’s a lemon life

Cause and effect
Seems we never really can get ahead,
unless we’re living in the same dream

No need to suffer, don’t you hesitate, let your heart escape
But I can’t do it without you, babe,
Pinch of salt and I’m out of phase, feel my heart erase

So let’s just slow down a moment, halt all hot takes
I can’t do it without you, babe,
It’s a slow impassive phase, some men don’t escape
I can’t do it without you, babe

It’s a lemon life

Cause and effect
Seems we never really can get ahead,
unless we’re living in the same dream.
Track Name: Wishin' Well
Lay awake or fall asleep, seems the time’s the same to me
Counting coins or counting sheep, the walls just shake

Automate your overdose, bellissima/belicose
Borderline or overbroke, the walls just shake

Count the seconds, count the breaths
Sound deceptive, sound distressed
The walls just shake

Now if somebody says it’s gonna be alright, don’t believe them
Lay awake or fall asleep, seems the time’s the same to me
Counting coins or counting sheep, the walls just change
Track Name: Losing My Shadow
You wanted my love and I wanted you trust
But I was telling you lies, I was down in the dust
Painting pictures for you, painting pictures for myself, as I’ve learned to do
And as time fell flat, I crept in decay
I was lost in the haze, my days drifting away
In my head I knew something my heart wasn’t ready to face
You wanted my love and I wanted your trust
But I was telling you lies I was down in the dust
Painting pictures for you painting, pictures for myself as I’ve learned to do
I just want you to…

I want to live clean and be better it’s true
But the hammers keep falling, I’m not breaking through
It’s a head misalignment, I must try to be true
At times I’m cold, my heart is racing, devil’s chasing me out my own door
I don’t know anymore, I just want you to…

I challenge myself to make a change
Don’t hesitate till no life’s left, no life forever, die not ever knowing
I just want you to….

Push me around,
pray on my fears,
harden my heart...
Track Name: Truly Massive
Sunlight slips through my fingers
Your love never lingers long enough for me to say what I feel
Your passion is never-lasting
Seems we always fucking fight till you run away

It’s truly massive
The way the world spins round you and all you see
Your radio waves passing through space and time
I’m gonna lose my mind

You spent your whole life searching for sunshine
I want to share my love

Your touch is such a deception
Each kiss is a lesson I can’t seem to learn
It’s truly massive the way the world spins round you
I’m a blip in your atmosphere

You spent your whole life searching for sunshine
I want to share my love
'Cause it’s hard to separate but it’s important to me
And the feelings I can’t shake can’t seem to wipe the slate clean
If I could start the whole thing over maybe then I’d get to see

I want to share my love
Track Name: Born A Sucker
I know you love me but you’re only gonna hold me back
I know you love me but you’re only gonna hold me back
'Cause I feel your love
No there’s nothing gonna hold me back
I know you love me but you’re only gonna hold me back

Fear aint nothing, fear no surprises
I feel my heart and I can’t get my head out the clouds
What do you think of me now?

Now there’s nothing, no there’s nothing gonna hold me back
Now there’s nothing, no there’s nothing gonna hold me back
'Cause i feel your love and there’s nothing gonna hold me back
Now there’s nothing, no there’s nothing gonna hold me back
Track Name: Hurts To Be Alone
Nobody’s calling, nobody’s checking in
It’s December, man I fear i’m fading out
It’s not the way I wanna be, it’s just the way I've been feeling
And I don’t wanna be alone, man it hurts to be alone

It’s just like out of thin air,
I’m erased and no one’s there
In the cobwebbed carousel of my mind
Man, it hurts to be alone

I watched the fireworks, through the window in my room
And I listened as the clock turned over a year
It’s not the way I wanna be, it’s just the way I’ve been feeling
And I don’t wanna be alone, man it hurts to be alone

It’s just like out of thin air,
I’m erased and no one’s there
In the cobwebbed carousel of my mind,
I don’t notice anything at all

I got love for everyone

You could call me up, over the telephone, but I wouldn’t listen
'Cause I don’t hear anymore
It’s not the way I wanna be, it’s just the way I’ve been feeling
And I don’t wanna be alone, man it hurts to be alone

It’s just like out of thin air,
I’m erased and no one’s there
In the cobwebbed carousel of my mind,
I don’t notice anything at all

I got love for everyone.
Track Name: Falling
I could scream at the sky
I still ask myself why I didn’t go that day
It’s a stab to my pride but I guess I don’t mind
You're the one who went away

I get the feeling I’m falling

I scream at the sky but I know it’s alright
Nothing’s gonna change
And I’m left with this life and I’m wondering where you’d go
I still feel so strange oh but, it’s too late

I get the feeling that I’m falling

Somebody else is standing there
Out in the hall whispering lightly in you ear
You think you’ve had it all?
Well when you’re far away you’ll find you’re not as strong
And nobody else can help you

I get the feeling that I am falling
Track Name: Mistakes
Child, protector of the light
Don’t lose your glow, conquer everthing in sight
Till you can’t eat you can’t sleep but you’re tired
Don’t lose your glow, don’t ever lose your glow

'Cause the fire, the fire in you, the fire in you is bright
And I’ve given all I have just to give you life
We’re the same, we’ll never separate, I’ll help you navigate
Don’t lose your glow, don’t ever lose your glow.

'Cause you can make, you can make your own mistakes
You don’t need mine

If you’re ever in danger, don’t be a stranger, I said boy don’t you understand
You’ve got the world in the palm of your hand.

Charm and the firelight that you’re guided by
Don’t lose your glow, don’t ever lose your glow
I’m just saying keep a straight line and a sane mind
Don’t lose your glow, don’t ever lose your glow

'Cause you can make, you can make your own mistakes
You don’t need mine

If you’re ever in danger, don’t be a stranger, I said boy don’t you understand
You’ve got the world in the palm of your hand.
Track Name: Life Of The Party
The center, life of the party when everyone goes home
You lose it, try to remember but your thoughts are dry as bones

This should feel like flying but you’re under radar
And too sick of trying to hide it anymore

I’m nothing to see, I’ve got all I need, I am all I need
I’m nothing to see, I’ve got all I need, I am all I need
I’m just a ghost in the room

The center, life of the party when everyone goes home
You lose it, try to remember but your thoughts are dry as bones

I’m nothing to see, I’ve got all I need, I am all I need
I’m nothing to see, I’ve got all I need, I am all I need
I’m just a ghost in the room, just a ghost in the room.

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